Regrets

O/V PG-13

A two part story, that came to me around 3 in the morning.

Ororo's POV

There’s a time, in every girls life, when she meets the wrong guy.  That guy who, no matter how much you hate him.  you can only love him ten times more.  That no matter how much of an ass he is on the outside, you know that inside he’s just a big teddy bear.  That guy, that for every second he’s not around, you think about him……

I met that guy.  And I fell in love with him.  And Goddess help me, it has been ten years and I still love him…….

It all happened a long time ago.  The year was 1999, and there was this mutant registration act going on.  Magneto had been planning a major attack on the world leaders.  Hoping that this act wouldn’t pass because of it.  After creating a machine in which turns normal people, into mutants.   He had had the machine ready for a few months.  I knew…because….well……..

I had been sleeping with his right hand man………

Victor Creed. Goddess, every part of my body chills when I think of him.   But it is always in that good way.  Some called him a monster, and that he would kill anything if it came near him.  but I knew the truth.  He was an assassin, it was his job to kill people.  And just as he was made to kill.  I was made to protect.  We had been together long before he ever hooked up with the brotherhood.  We had even planned to be married.  He told me that this job coming up, would be his last.  That we cold both retire and just.  Be alone.  Little did I know we would be fighting each other……..

I remember the day I saw him attacking that truck.  I felt my entire being go numb.  Scott told me to freeze him, to whip up some sleet that would bury him. I couldn’t, all I could do was rustle up some snow.  Scott yelled at me to take him out, but I couldn’t.  I loved him.  Next thing I know he’s shooting at Victor.  Luckily, he jumped out of the way…...  Scott must have yelled at me the rest of the trip home.  Marie, the young girl we saved, gave me this look.  As if she knew anything then, she was still a child. ……

I told Scott I panicked. But he knew I was lying.  Hopefully, Jean hadn’t told him about my mystery man.  And if she had….well, I had hoped he hadn’t connected the two…….

I went to his apartment that night.  And asked him what it was he was being paid for.  He told me he had to get some girl.  That was it.  but because he had failed he had to stay on longer.…………..

As we laid together that night.  He told me, that after this was all over.  He was going to get a real job.  An honest job.  Not that he would need to.  The both of us had saved for years.  We could live care free for the next ten.  Victor swore to me, as we made love, that he was turning over a new leaf.  And he was doing it just for me………….

The next two days were a blur.  Apparently Logan, the man Scott and I had saved, and Xavier believe it was Logan who Magneto was after. But they were wrong.  I told Xavier what I felt…but he…began to ask how I knew, I simply told him it was my intuition.  Next thing I know, Marie runs off.  I was there when she was stabbed.  I tried to comfort her, but she ran.  She ran, right into Magneto’s hands.  I was at the ticket agent, when Victor grabbed me, and held me above the ground.  He whispered one of his favorite things to say to me while we were together, “Scream for Me”.  It was his version of I Love You.  He could have killed me then.  A simple flick of his wrist, and I would have been gone.  But he was putting on a show.  And so, I retaliated.  The lightening bolt wasn’t enough to kill him.  Oh, it would hurt like a bitch.  But he would survive.  A part of me knew that I would be punished for it later that night.  But I Victor is the only one I had ever been with, who knew how to make pain, pleasurable.  I get so excited when I think of the things he and I would do……Anyway.  He never got to teach me that lesson.  …………

Later that night, after Marie had been caught.  We found Senator Kelly.  Or rather he found us.  He had apparently been Magneto’s test subject.  He…had seemed to be leaking, as I talked to him.  he told me, right before he died.  That I had one les human to fear.  I wasn’t sure if he meant that he had turned over a new leaf.  Or, because he was dying.  I’ll never know, he died just as he said those words………

I ran and told the others what happened.  And we were ready to go.  But….Xavier.  he, someone had meddled with Cerebro.  That someone, probably being Mystique. Scott, Jean and I were terrified.  Xavier had practically raised Scott and Ororo.  And he had brought me here, to America.  We all owed him a lot………

But we had work to do.  And as we prepared for take off, I couldn’t help but feel as if this one last mission for Victor. Would not be as simple as he made it out to be……….

When we arrived.  We had many things to contend with.  First there was Mystique.  A woman I was never particularly found of.  After all, she and Victor had had some affair many years ago.  She always holds it over his head, she even told him there was a child.  A boy she named Graydon. That woman and her lies.  Then there was Toad. A man who….well…hardly a man at all!  He is more accurately described by the codename he chose.  A Toad…………

After we got passed the two of them (Oh, you should have heard me, I said the corniest line in all of X-men history….i can not even bring myself to repeat it!) We made our way up. Once there, we found we had walked right into a trap.  Magneto came down, after he had strapped us to the wall.  And who should follow him? Victor……….

Victor cast a look my way as he, removed Scott’s glasses.  I almost laughed at Scott’s request to “fry” them.   Even if were not in a copper conductor, I do not know if I could handle, striking my soon to be husband, one more time……..

I had never liked Logan.  Well.  That is a lie.  But after that night, I could never look him in the face.  The two, had fought.  I can not remember exactly how Logan got free.  But the next thing I know the two of them are above us.  I heard a noise down the side of the room.  I saw those three claws jut into the room, barely missing Jean.  I wanted to cry out!  I wanted to warn Victor!  As Victor came back to me I almost cried, I was afraid to speak and at the same time afraid not to.  To this day, the others think My tears were of fear. As he stroked my cheek, I could help look straight into those beautiful black eyes, I gestured with mine for him to turn around.  But it was to late.  Logan landed.  And he held out Scott’s Goggles, something that confused me, just as it did Victor. Only when it had been to late did I realize what had happened. I cried out as Victor flew from the statue……….

Why did I not cry out?  What would it have cost?  My friends?  My family? With one simple word of warning, My life could be full right now.  This nursery, in which I am writing this paper, could be my own! But No!  it is Scott and Jean’s!  Their third child is sleeping peacefully.  As his parents go out and paint the town red.  His brother and sister just down the hall……….

I remember, after the incident, I cried myself to sleep each night.  Victor was dead.  I knew he was.  Why?  Because he would have come for me.  Sooner or later he would have come.  The first week, I cried simply because he could be dead.  The next, I did not shed a tear.  I hoped and I prayed to the Goddess, that he would be safe. I also prayed, that I was with child.  My period had been a week late.  I was so hopeful, that if victor couldn’t come back to me, at least his child would remain with me.  But no.  I was not pregnant.  I  went to the doctors.  And found that not only was I not pregnant.  But I could probably never conceive a child………….

I hoped for so long.  I prayed and I cried.  But Victor never returned to me.  I can not help, but feel, that it is my fault.  One simple phrase, “He’s not dead.”  Or :”Look Out!”………..

He could be here.  And I could be happy.  If I could only hear his voice one last time!  If only I could feel his touch.  If only he would appear to make me scream with pleasure one more time…..

I still owe him so much.  He gave me so much hope.  No one, ever treated me the way Victor did. ……

Jean and Scott, were so nervous.  After the whole thing.  They thought…well truthfully, I don’t know what they thought.  I told em, that I had not heard from my mystery guy….Jean tried to comfort me.  But How could she?  The man she has loved her whole life, is with her!  The man who is the father of her children!  He was the first man she ever fell in love with, and it is a perfect tale.

Ten years have passed.  Tonight is the night that he died ten years ago.  I would have though that the pain would have gone by now.  Or that it would have lessoned.  But each time I close my eyes….I see him, stroking my cheek, telling me, that I owe him a scream.  I can feel him, I can feel the heat of his body, like when he used to wrap me in his arms, and make my body come alive.

It is not fair, it is not fair that I can hear his voice, I can feel him, I can remember everything about him.  But he is not here.

And he never will be.

Victor's POV

Ya know, I have done some shitty things in my life.  But there is one thing that is still driving me crazy.  Even ten years after it all.  See, back then, I did random jobs.  Working for anyone who could cough up the money to pay me.  Well, one day I ran across a man named Erik Lensherr, Or Magneto. This guy offered me 40,000 dollars if I could track down this girl.  So, I did.  However…well I better start sooner than that.

I first met Ororo Munroe back in ’98.  I had this job to rough this one guy who owed the guy who hired me money.  I tracked him to a club, and as I walked in I saw her, she was sitting at the bar, stirring her drink.  I could tell right then I had to have her.  I didn’t give a fuck about what I had come there to do, I just had to get near her.  As I walked over to the bar, the man I had to get, walked up to her.  Apparently she knew this guy.  I don’t know what came over me.  It was like…fire.  I was jealous. Yeah, I know, Me jealous?  I walked up to this guy, tapped him on the shoulder, and said. “You Remy Lebeau?”

He  turned to face me, and he knew what I was there for. Apparently so did Ororo, she stood up, wedging herself between Remy and me. And asked what business I had with her friend. Now, I’ll be honest with you.  I don’t know what I was thinking when all this went down.  All I knew was I wanted this woman.  She was beyond gorgeous.  I mean….there’s no way I can describe it.  She asked me again, and I said that he owes the man who hired me money.  Well, the guy puts his hand on my shoulder calling me something in French.  And hands me the money. So far everything was good and I begin to leave,  till I go and put the cash in my wallet.  I find that the guy fucking stole my wallet!  And, the money he gave me was my own.  I just wondered how the fuck did he do that? I mean, Its not everyday someone gets one over me.  And I look up and he is gone.  But she is there, she tells me that he was just messing with me.  She hands me my wallet (meanwhile, I’m thinking where the fuck was I when this all went down?) and I find that my money is still in there.  She apologized for her friend and asked if I wanted to buy her a drink.

That’s how it began. 

This woman, I don’t know what she did to me.  I mean, whatever she wanted I would get for her.  I was fuckin’ whipped.  Something I can finally admit after all of these years.  But She was the first woman I was ever with where I could feel something more than just physical.  I mean, we weren’t exactly in the running for the greatest couple.  But we were meant to be.  Corny ass shit but, its true.

I loved her.  I don’t think I ever really told her that.  But each time I saw her….shit I don’t know how to explain what I felt.

So…why did leave her?

Honestly?…I have no fucking clue

Anyway My job tracking down this girl got messed up.  I was there, ready to grab her. and all of a sudden, this wind comes up and I smell Ororo.  I turn around and there she is conjuring up some wind.  Now, I’m like what the fuck is she doin’?  I can hear this guy yelling at her to hit me with something more powerful.  But she wouldn’t.  I wanted to go to her, but I could see a red glow, the guy with her was about to shoot me with some laser.  So, I got the hell outta there.   Of I have to go back to Magneto and tell him I fucked up.  On my way in I grab mystique and tell her who the fuck messed with my plans.  She gave me a quick low down on the X-men.  Then proceeded to call me an asshole. See me and her got together years ago. And she still wants some play.

After I got away from her, I went to find magneto, who told me that because I messed up I had to stay on.  And if I helped him this time, he’d up my pay to 100 thousand.

I talked to Ororo that night, and told her that after all this I was done.  And me and her were gonna run off and get married.  I meant it to.  Every single word.

But, I wasn’t planning on messing with the X-men again. The next thing I know me and Mortimer are heading out to the train station.  Tracking down Ororo and another one of her X-men pals.  Mortimer told me to go after Cyclops, and that he would go after Ororo.  He licked his lips, and I swear, I could have killed him right there.  I told the toad that I was the head of this mission, and I go after who I say I go after. I added a growl, ya know…for show.  Then headed after Ororo.

Tell you I could have killed her then…just as she could have killed me.  She brought that Lightening down just enough to kick my ass.  But not enough to kill me.  I was gonna make her pay later.  Hell, she was probably hoping I would.

How was I to know that me being thrown off of a statue would keep me from her?

O think I know why I didn’t go after her…Cause I could smell the hate in that statue’s head.  Every person in that room, except Magneto and Ororo had hate for me.  I knew that that’s how it would be for Ororo.  And I don’t know if I could put her through that…

…I miss her.  You have no fucking clue how much I miss her. She was my world.  I know why I did it  and I want is to take it all back.

It was funny, a month later.  I went to see her and she  was alone.  By the X-Mansions Lake.  She looked as if she had been crying, which scared the shit out of me.  Cause I only saw her cry twice, in the year I was with her.

I was gonna go to her.  But, I could tell someone was approaching. it was the red head. She came up to Ororo and asked her if she was Okay. She said she was, that the guy she had been seeing for awhile had not been calling her. Jean told her that he was an asshole, and that if he cared he would have called, and that she had set up a date for Ororo the nest week.  With some cop.  I had to leave then, cause she sensed someone nearby. I guess I let my guard down.

I don’t know, what I was thinking.  How much would have been to call her? Or send her a fuckin’ letter?  I lost the one thing in my life I ever felt was worth living for…

But, weeks turned into months, and the years…Now, ten years after it all.  She’d hate me more than if I had stayed and turned all of her friends against her.

And, I may be selfish bastard, but if she’s out there, happy…I guess that’s enough for me. 

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